Included are:

1. How To Be Young: “Kids should never be fashion slaves, especially in the Far East. My 12-year old daughter asked me for a new pair of trainers. I told her she was old enough to go out and make her own.”

Plus gems such as: “A few streaks of grey hair are distinguished on the head, perhaps, but it makes the penis look like a badger.”

2. How To Be Yourself

3. How To Belong

4. How To Maximise Your Leisure